最簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
1、The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant. You have your choice of two brains, he told the patien. For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician. The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. Is the brain of a politician that much better? he asked. The Brain Surgeon replied, No, it’s not better, just unused.
一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)。 你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你。醫(yī)生告訴病人，一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的`大腦10000美元。 病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，政治家的大腦好一些嗎?他問(wèn)。 醫(yī)生說(shuō)，不是好一些，只是沒(méi)有用過(guò)。
2、A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
醫(yī)生和律師正在一個(gè)宴會(huì)上交談。他們的談話(huà)常被一些人打斷，那些人向醫(yī)生描述自己的病癥，期望獲得免費(fèi)的治療建議。如此這般一個(gè)鐘頭后，醫(yī)生有點(diǎn)惱火，于是他問(wèn)律師：“如果不在辦公時(shí)間，你是怎么阻止人們向你咨詢(xún)法律問(wèn)題的?”
“我會(huì)給他們建議，”律師回答，“然后我會(huì)給他們寄去帳單”。醫(yī)生很震驚，但他還是決定這么試一試。第二天，帶著點(diǎn)犯罪感，他準(zhǔn)備了帳單。當(dāng)他準(zhǔn)備將它們放到郵箱里時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張來(lái)自律師的帳單。
3、Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."
三只老鼠坐酒吧里吹著誰(shuí)勇敢誰(shuí)強(qiáng)悍。
頭一只說(shuō)：“我太厲害了，上回我吃了一整包老鼠藥!”
第二只說(shuō)：“得了，我才厲害呢，有回我被捕鼠夾夾住了，我把夾子都咬碎了。”
緊跟著第三只老鼠站起身來(lái)說(shuō)：“回見(jiàn)了哥們，我要回去逗貓玩了。”
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